Around the World with Bradley. The plane trip over.

 10.12.2000

Wake up at 3:44. Alarm clock is set for 6:00 o’clock. I won’t get back to sleep. Could get up and watch the Davis Cup on TV. Or just lie here waiting for the clock to explode and officially wake up.  

6:00 o’clock arrives. What do I need to remember? I must remember all the things I normally forget. Need some cash for the airport. What else? Turn on the TV. The doubles is just about to begin.

Airport virtually empty. Dribs and drabs of people checking in.

Check-in staff: Did you pack this suitcase?

Check-in staff: Has the suitcase been tampered with since you packed it?

Check-in staff: Has anybody had the opportunity?

Check-in staff: I have to ask you these questions.  

I sit in the café and have coffee with Melissa. My money belt is very irritating. I don’t need it on the plane. Have I got my sunglasses?

People are accumulating. Sitting down and waiting. The TV drones on in the background.

On the plane the airhostesses are old with neat hair. Not glamorous. What happened. You know you are getting old when the police seem young and the airhostesses old.

Rituals on the plane. Stewardess are important but…

Pilot: This is your pilot speaking.

I look for sympathy. The stewardess looks at me with contempt. Another passenger who hates flying.

Last time I flew to South Africa what was I thinking. I was flying towards no job and no contacts with no money in my pocket. What would have happened If I had not got a job? I didn’t have any money. Perhaps I could have got to London. I had a return ticket to Perth. That was all.

I am more frightened now. Frightened of the dangers, the crime, the violence. Last time I craved stories. The more dangerous the more exciting the stories would be.

Board the international flight. The airhostess says welcome abord while looking at my knees. Wait until the end of the flight and then she really will be bored. Must stay calm and relaxed on the plane. I watch the Drew Carey Show. I keep on thinking this is quite funny. I don’t laugh out loud. I just say to myself this is funny. Nobody on the plane is laughing. Everybody is quiet as the cabin staff (I don’t know what to call these people) deposit food and collect empty plates. No fuss. They know what to do.

I hear the Afrikaans language behind me. Sitting in front of me they have got to be more Afrikaners.

The plane is suspended above the ocean. Time is frozen.

Arrive in Durban. Grab my bag. Big queues for foreign passport holders. That’s me. RSA passport holders go straight through.

 

Driving up the highway from Durban to Howick is a journey through hell. Semi-trailers speed and overtaking on the left and right. Flashing lights from cars hovering behind us.

Lionel drives and talks.

Lionel: Even Elliot won’t vote for the ANC. Says they will steal from you. Mind you he’s a good one.

Lionel: This man put a laxative on his sugar. The next day his boy doesn’t come to work. He turns up and is just about to speak and rushes off to the toilet. The man grabs the boy and says I hope you have learnt not to steal the sugar. He says: Yes Baas.

Lionel: Anything I bet you name a sport and South Africa can beat Australia. No, not netball. Our team is full of blacks.

Lionel: Look at these peanuts. Good SA peanuts. 100% SA grown.

Lionel: Don’t fall for the trick of them not having any money. They give everything they’ve got to XXXX and her husband. Don’t encourage them. They are like little children. You have to steer them away from certain topics. They are embarrassing. Always putting their foot in it.

I arrive in Howick at 8pm after leaving Hobart 9pm yesterday. Too tired to sleep.

Ma greets me by telling some good news.

Ma: On TV they interviewed a black man who has been living in Sydney. He’s been mugged, robbed and had his car stolen and he lived in Joberg for years and nothing happened. He’s coming back to South Africa.