Saturday 31 July 2021

Around the World with Bradley: Canada: Travel home

Three young Canadian girls having breakfast. Which is a bottle of coke.

One of them asks us for a cigarette. She wats to borrow a cig. I’ve only just started smoking and really need a smoke.

On the plane an air hostess with big hair speaks to us. As the plane is de-iced.

Air hostess: What is the gap between these two?

Air hostess: Do they have the same father?

Air hostess: What a beautiful baby.

Air hostess: Why did you wait so long? I couldn’t do that. You know you miss it and don’t miss it. You know what I mean. The getting up at night.

Air hostess: What do you do?

Air hostess: Where do you come from?

Air hostess: What were you doing in Canada?

She gets out a photo album of her two sons which she has handy. With a blue cloth cover and ribbons.

Me: Any emergencies on the plane?

Air hostess: Yes lots. Mainly medical. People travelling are so old nowadays.

LA international airport: Attention travelers. You are not required to give money to solicitors. This airport does not sponsor their activities. I repeat.

Announcement: Please maintain personal belongs with you at all times. Do not leave your baggage unattended.

Announcement: Unattended baggage will be promptly removed by law enforcement officers.

Check-in clerk: Have you had your luggage at all times within your sight?  

Check-in clerk: Has anybody given you a packet or parcel to carry?

Plane to Dallas: Males wear baseball caps. Plane is full of Americans chirping away the whole trip. Standing in the aisle bending over talking. The sales reps for Mary Kay Cosmetics are going to Dallas for annual conference. Impeccably groomed. Hair make-up.

Calgary airport is full of white cowboy hats. One man wears two.

View from plane. Mountain ranges. Snow or less snow and more trees.

LA airport. Need to wait 6 hours. Aussie accents appear. He’s one. Look at him. They look different. Quietly confident.

In the lounge a couple of Aussies start talking. Laughing telling stories. Not emotional. Not crying, dancing abusing singing not religious. Practical. Want to be nice blokes.

On the plane American passengers wear masks.

American toilets have wrap on the seats.

Flight back: Very tiring. Everybody comes up and says: What a beautiful baby.

American lady: He’s so beautiful you could put him in a commercial.

Hobart: Zombies. Half-dream like. Half recognize our house.

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